Some days I want to feel sorry for myself, some days I DO feel sorry for myself. I look at everything that’s fallen apart in my life, how my body is falling apart and all the things it affects around me… It’s important for us to allow ourselves to grieve and not to deny those thoughts or emotions. At the same time it’s important to catch ourselves from falling into self pity.
Those days that I feel sorry for myself I have to stop myself and renew my mind. Our mind controls us, and our thoughts decide what kind of person we are… So I have to cleanse my mind and then press into the Lord. Instead of complaining to Him about everything that has gone wrong, I start thanking Him for everything that has gone right… Even if it’s the smallest thing.. Maybe my nausea, dizziness and vision are worse today, but instead I pray “Thank you God that the stabbing pain in my back isn’t as bad today as yesterday.” Maybe I am unable to walk today and have to crawl or be carried by my younger brother, instead of complaining that I have lost my freedom, my independence and I am now dependent on others, I thank God for the others I have to be dependent upon.
I was listening to a song by Bruno Mars and Natasha Bedingfield called “Again.” It’s talking about how the day is going horrible and everything is going wrong, but they’d choose to do it all over again because what went wrong was what led them to find each other.
I started thinking about everything I’ve gone through the past 1 yr and 9 months… and how much closer I’ve gotten to the Lord.. Then I started singing quietly to the Lord “I’d do this all over again for you.”
I went from thinking “This sucks.” to saying, “I’d do it all over again to be closer to You Lord.” How can I explain that I feel this way, except for the power of Jesus Christ! He’s the one who strengthens me and renews my mind. He’s the one that can take something absolutely horrible and make it wonderful. Not because He changes the situation, but because of what He can do through the situation.
Psalm 36:7 How priceless is your unfailing love, O God: People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
(Photo by NIC Photographytography https://www.facebook.com/pages/NIC-Photography/553186744732014)