Two weeks ago I sent an S.O.S. out to everyone asking them to pray. Many of you have been following me on my physical journey and have been so supportive to me through this trial. I was overwhelmed by the number of people who read my article, who shared it, and who messaged me!! To each and every one of you my sincerest thank you!! I can’t express in words how much it meant to me to have so many people praying for me and encouraging me. You guys are great!! 🙂
I’ve had many people ask what happened during the 3 days of prayer. What happened?? God moved. That’s what happened :). Was I miraculously healed? No. Have I seen any physical changes since then, no. But the peace that fell down upon me those 3 days was surreal. It was supernatural. I had people giving me visions, words of encouragement, and many come over to lay hands on and pray for me, even people I had never met came to pray for me. It was touching.
During those 3 days my pain didn’t go away, but instead of the pain taking over my body this surreal peace took over so the pain didn’t really bug me.
So why wasn’t I healed?? I don’t know. But I know The Lord and I trust Him even if He doesn’t do what I want Him to do. He is God, not my genie, and He loves me more than anyone else loves me… So I know that if He is waiting to heal me, then there is a reason for it.
That doesn’t mean He has abandoned me. He is with me every day, through every ache and pain, through every tear. He is the one comforting me through this. He is the one who gives me the strength to endure. And He is the reason I can still find joy in this trying time, because I have salvation and that is reason enough to wake up every day with a smile on my face :).
God is good. He not only loves us but the bible says “God IS love” 1 John 4:8. That means I can trust Him. Often children don’t understand why their parents make the decisions they make when it is contrary to what the child is asking for. But when they grow up they understand why, and they see it was out of love. I may not understand why God doesn’t always do what I ask but when I grow up and get to heaven I know I’ll see why.
I don’t remember the first time I felt God’s presence. What I remember is the first few times it happened I fell to my knees humbled and unworthy. I was able to see HOW good God really is, and HOW unworthy I really am… So why did He still love me?? How could this perfect being love humankind so much that He would leave His heavenly kingdom, live among us, and then be tortured and die for our sins??!! All so that we could spend eternity with Him… The same people who disappointed Him, disobeyed Him, hurt Him and then hung Him on a cross, those were the people He wanted to hang out with in heaven?! That still amazes me and just boggles my mind!! That is perfect love.
That is who holds my life in His hands… So I know there’s no safer place to be then where I am. I know He’s going to heal me. Apparently now is just not the timing. And since He is perfect love I know there’s a reason why He is saying “not yet.”
When we look at the bible we see that almost every bible character didn’t understand why God did or allowed the things that He did. But then we get to read how greatly God used them.
Job didn’t understand what was going on or how greatly God was using his trial. Joseph didn’t know why he was sold as a slave and then put in prison when he was innocent- but God used it to save thousands of people from dying when Joseph became second in command. We can see through the Psalms that David constantly didn’t understand why God didn’t do what David wanted Him to do.. Paul begged God to take away a “tormenting spirit” but God said no. He replied to Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you. For my power is made perfect in your weakness.” 2 Cor 12:9
It’s interesting that Adam and Eve‘s first sin came because they didn’t understand God. Instead of trusting Him, they disobeyed Him. They believed Satan when He told them to question God. And once they did, they brought sin upon the earth and sentenced mankind to death (for mankind was created immortal until they ate the fruit).
We need to trust God. He always has a reason and He can see what we cannot.
God touched so many of your hearts to pray for me. He answered your prayers and came down and held me close. He didn’t answer our prayers in the way we hoped by giving me a “miraculous healing”… But He could have just said “No. Now is not the perfect time for Rachel’s healing,” and left it at that. But He came down and met me, He encouraged me and poured His grace out upon me. He did this because He is a good God! He used each and every one of you to touch my heart and give me the strength to keep going…
So to all of you I want to say “Thank you.” Your prayers and love have brought me so much good and I am forever thankful!!
To those of you who are facing your own trials and God is not answering your prayers the way you want Him to, I just want to encourage you. I know it is SO difficult. And I know you don’t get why. But He loves you and if He is saying “not now” or “no” to your prayers there is a reason greater than you or I can see.
1 Corinthians 13:12: “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully.”
Hang in there and know that the God who laid His life down for you is the same God who is holding your life in His hands.
God bless and thank you for all of your support!! You all are the best!!