Most little girls dream of being a “princess” when they grow up. Not me. I wanted to be a “queen.” Why?? Well princesses seemed to just sit around and wait for someone to rescue them. Queens, on the other hand, ruled the land which meant they had the power to help those who were hurting…. Plus I’d get to “boss everyone around.” Since I was one of the youngest kids in my family, that sounded appealing to me since everyone else “bossed” me around ;).
Now before I lose all of my “male” readers, I promise this article isn’t all about princesses, queens, and fairytales ;).
I think most of my reason for wanting to be a “queen” over a “princess” was because my hero, or rather heroine, was Queen Esther in the bible. She was beautiful, brave, and selfless- that was what I wanted to be when I grew up. Now that I am all grown up I still admire Esther and want to learn how to become more like her.
In addition to Queen Esther having beauty, bravery, and kindness she had many other characteristics of integrity. As I’ve been studying her story over the last several months I have learned that she was also humble and wise. She listened to the advice of her elders, and she knew when to ask for help.
Esther was used to save the lives of her people, the Jews. But in order for her to do this she had to risk her own life. For, to approach the king uninvited was considered disrespectful and punished by death… unless the king had mercy on you and lifted his scepter to save you (which he did do in Esther’s case). But before Esther approached the king she didn’t know how the situation would turn out. She hadn’t even seen her husband in months and therefore wasn’t sure how he would respond. She actually tried to back out of the situation until her cousin Mordecai called her accountable. Once she realized that it would be wrong before the Lord to not stand up for the Jews, she stepped up to the plate, even if it meant sacrificing her own life for them.
But before Esther approached the king she asked Mordecai to spread the word and to get all of the Jews to fast and pray for her for 3 days. She knew she wanted to back out, she knew her own fear, and she knew she needed help. Even if the king had mercy on her life, who was to say that he would listen to her and help her save the Jews? She knew it had to be God’s strength and favor that would save her and the Jews. And she knew she needed help so she asked for help from all of her people. Asking for help showed she had a lot of humility. It also showed that she had wisdom with how to approach the situation.
The reason I am bringing Esther up is because I am trying to learn from her humility and wisdom. I am learning it is “okay” to ask for help. It is “okay” to admit you are not always strong and you need help. And it is “okay” to ask others to unite in prayer for you on the same day… so that is what this article is about. This is my plea for help, my call to action, this is my S.O.S.
Many of you know that I have been suffering physically for 1 ½ years. I was in a car accident that caused a severe brain injury and a lot of pain. After 8 months of recovering in bed I took a dive for the worst and my pain became horrible. I started to slowly lose control of my limbs and this has put me in a wheelchair.
I’ve had strange neurological symptoms since-
- Stabbing Needles
- Sensation of air bubbles under my skin
My vision makes EVERYTHING look like it’s moving ALL of the time. Sometimes my vision goes really blurry on top of the movement.
A year after my accident my body just started deteriorating and I couldn’t get out of bed without help. The doctors told me that I was no longer just facing a TBI (traumatic brain injury) but that there was something else going on in my body that was causing many of my symptoms. They have been testing me for many diseases ever since.
Test after test came back negative until they finally tested me for P.O.T.S. (Postural Orthastatic Tachycardia Syndrome) and it came back positive. Basically it means something is wrong with my blood and my heart can’t pump it properly. In severe cases, like mine, it causes your body to feel horribly sick all of the time. It causes:
- Light headedness
- Impaired vision
- Foggy Brain
- Makes you feel really “heavy” and makes it extremely hard to sit or stand without passing out.
They have been treating me for it since then and I have made slooow progress. Progress means that some days I can sit up, from laying down, by myself and can hold my body in a sitting position for a short time before my body gives out and forces me back into a lying position.
Though I’ve been diagnosed with a TBI, severe brain-stem injury, and P.O.T.S., the doctors still do not know what is causing my nerve pain, numbness, burning etc. The big “bad guy” that is causing my body so much misery is hiding away and the doctors, and myself are stumped. I need help.
So I’m asking all of my readers, my friends, and my family to come together on the same days and pray for me. My prayer requests are these:
- Healing: That I would be supernaturally healed.
- Wisdom & Direction: If God isn’t going to heal me through a miracle and He wants to reveal what’s going on in my body through doctors, then that God would give them, and myself wisdom and direction with what steps, and tests to take next.
- An End to Spiritual Attack: If my sickness is spiritual, and Satan is causing this like he caused Job’s suffering-then that God would put an end to it.
- Refreshment: That God would give me a refreshment of strength and grace to get through this.
- Glory to God: Pray that God would use this trial to help others and to glorify Himself. I want people to see that God is good and loving and that He is faithful to stay with you and help you through your trials. Pray that God would use me and my journey to help others see this :).
I have written in my past articles about Job and his journey. I said if what I am going through is something going on in the spiritual realm, then I am honored that God would allow me to prove God right. I still feel this way. If the rest of my life is in a wheelchair and all of my days are in bed sick, then I will gladly, and wholeheartedly do it for the Lord. If it’s His will to use my life this way then I will gladly oblige to His plan. But if it is not, then I believe that He is going to heal me.
So many of you have asked how you can help me. And so I am asking all of you to pray for me over the next 3 days...Sunday May 18, Monday May 19, and Tuesday May 20th.
I am so tired, and don’t know what I’m supposed to do next medically. Please pray for me friends. Pray whatever the spirit leads you to pray. And if you feel God show you anything, or put anything on your heart, then please share it with me.
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