“A man plans His future but the Lord determines his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9).
Tonight I asked God what He wants me to do with my future. I know we choose what we do with life, but I asked Him what His preference would be if I could do exactly what He wanted. I felt Him ask me, “If you aren’t willing to do exactly what I want you to do today, if you aren’t willing to embrace Me in every moment and change your lifestyle to be all about Me, why would you want to choose the future I would choose for you?”
I was completely taken back by this thought. It was true. If I’m not willing to be in the Word more, and automatically follow everything that it teaches (like forgive my enemies, or trust Him with money, etc.), then why would I think He should tell me what He thinks is the best future road for me?? And why do I think I would take it??
God is all about living in the present. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34) If He can’t trust me to do what He asks me to do today, then why would He show me what to do with my tomorrows?? Well cause I WANT Him to ;).
I like to plan; I like to know which way I’m going with life. But wanting to plan your whole life isn’t trusting God, it’s wanting to be in control… and I know that every time I start to take control of my life, I make a mess out of it.
I often think about when I one day reach heaven. Will I look back at my life and see the shallow things on earth more clearly and wish I hadn’t spent my time on them?? My biggest goal in life is to one day reach heaven and for God to look at me and say, “Well done good and faithful servant.” I dream about this moment often. If the God of the universe who watched my whole life said that to me I think it would be the best moment of my whole life. It would be more fulfilling than anything and would make all the hardship worth it.
But will I reach heaven and wish I had done more? I don’t mean doing more “works” and I don’t mean being more legalistic. I wonder will I wish I had spent more time with the Lord here in earth?? Will I wish I had read the Word more so I knew how to live? Will I wish I did what it said instead of arguing with God on why I shouldn’t do what He asked??
Unfortunately, I feel like my answer to these questions, is yes, and I want to change that. I think all of us could look at our lives and see how we could be closer to the Lord. How we could spend our time to glorify Him. Yet we still ignore that and choose not to.
Something I think is really interesting about Jesus is that the bible tells us how He would withdraw from the crowds in order to go pray. He knew He couldn’t just do “works”. He was God’s son, yet He still knew He needed to spend time with God, His father, probably to refresh himself. Maybe to ask God what He was supposed to do with the next hour; probably not to ask God what to do with His future, but with that moment. He prioritized time with the Lord. So much so that it sounds like He would sneak away from the masses.
I do want to know which direction I’m supposed to go with my future. After having this car accident it made me reassess my life. I feel like I just graduated from high school and have the world of doors open. I don’t know which way to go. But who cares if I know what way to go if I am not seeking God on how He wants me to live today.
Besides, I’m still stuck in bed with severe pain, inability to walk, and impaired vision. The doctors think it may be years before I’m fully recovered… And here I am wondering what I’m supposed to do with the rest of my life! Silly me…always falling back into the same old patterns.
Somehow I don’t think God is going to show me what to do with my future today. Actually I have a feeling He will probably never show me that (but that flesh part of me has hope that He will ;)). So I’m going to try and surrender never knowing which way to go, and try to focus on what step to take today.
“Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money. Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” (James 4:13-15)
Rachel was in a car accident one year ago today, on September 27,2012. She still lives in severe pain daily and is bedridden.
Photo of Rachel taken by Nic Champlin: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Photography-by-Nic-Champlin/553186744732014