The bible says that God has destined us for trials. We think of destiny as this sweet romantic thing. We think destiny means living your dreams. Yet God says not to be unsettled by trials because we are destined for them. (…so that no one would be unsettled by these trials. For you know quite well that we are destined for them. 1 Thessalonians 3:3)
That means when God was creating me He knew I was going to become disabled, He knew I’d lose everything, but He destined me for it. I actually feel honored that He did because that means He knew I could handle it. With His help, I can handle this!
I’m not worried about when I’m going to be healed and get on with my life. This IS my life. This IS part of my journey. It’s not a bump in the road that I have to get passed to continue on with my journey, this is the road I’m on. This is my life, my ministry, my calling, my work, my purpose. I want to look back and know that I used every day to the most. That I didn’t waste these days, but I was seeking God in every day.
Some people think I might lose my faith in God or get angry at Him, but I’m not going to. Job lost a whole lot more than me and he STILL stayed faithful to the Lord. I’ve lost my job, my college education, my apartment, my ability to be independent, my girls nights out, my bible study nights, my ability to drive, my vision, my health, and I am stuck in a wheelchair.
Yet I will stay faithful to the Lord. Satan can test me, God can test me, or life itself can test me, but I will not be removed from my faith. Jesus means EVERYTHING to me. He’s my joy, my purpose, my Savior, my Lord, and my best friend, I won’t ever leave Him.
I was baptized 13 years ago and I made a vow then that I would follow Christ no matter what. So for better or for worse, I will always follow Him. Even if I hadn’t made that vow then, I would still choose to make it today. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
Why wouldn’t I forsake Him?? Because even though these bad things have happened to me, it doesn’t change the fact that He is God. He is truth, the author of life and the reason we are all here. He is the maker of all good, and He’s been there for me every day of my life, whether I wanted Him to be or not. So I will not leave His side. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, and even in death we will not be separated, but I will meet Him face to face.
Psalm 31:7 I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.
(Rachel living her life, going to visit her new niece at the hospital)